I'm two for two on being a foot in mouth arsehole queen today.

Case one: Foot in mouth - I was getting Criminal record checked for a teaching/volunteering project. Handing in my form, man asks standard question; "So, have you been convicted of any criminal offence?" Me, not paying attention, "No, They've never caught me- oh!  JOKE, JOKE!"  Luckily the man just laughed and told me he wasn't as harsh as passport control, and I could even make bomb jokes if I wanted. Yeesh.

Case two: Arsehole queen foot in mouth moment. Bantering with my housemate over something or t'other - Me: "Well I'm sorry I'm too incredible to understand this," Him: "Did your mother tell you that?" Me: "No, yours did (implied your mum sex joke) ...oh my God, I'm so sorry." His mother died last year from cancer. He was very good natured about it and told me his uni friends said it all the time, but I still feel really shitty about saying it. :/

Usually I'm somewhat better at watching what I say, just not today it seems.